I didn't know much about Christ until I was in my mid 30's. I know that seems so late in life. Believe me when I say I sure wish I had figured it out when I was young. However, God's plan was to have me eat the many lemons I was given before I could drink the sweet refreshing lemonade. Things I went through were many - abuse, neglect, poverty, abandonment, drugs, gangs.
It's true , I was given a rough hand. No doubt there is someone out there with it even worse than I ever had. The crazy part is when I look back its obvious I was never alone. After all that craziness, I landed on my feet or on my knees seeking God. My 3rd baby , Nikkolas was born premature and was on oxygen and heart monitors. He was sent from God just for me. I remember at the time thinking please God, why are you doing this why are you putting my poor baby who has done no wrong through all these procedures?? It was hard to understand because I had no relationship with Christ. I was not aware of how badly he was waiting for me to reach out to him. I did and it actually took many more years, for me to fully submit myself to God. Nikkolas whose now 11 has Cerebral Palsy as a result from brain bleeds he suffered during trying to survive his early birth. Hes a bright guy, but his fine motor and lower extremities have been a challenge and always will be. He uses a walker , and a wheelchair at times. The really great part of all of this is that he was made perfect in Gods eyes, he picked every situation for us. Every child I have has been hand picked and created just the way they are by God for me. I love that, it brings great peace to my heart. We have endured so much around Nikkolas situation that I could probably gripe about to everyone. However, I wont....I don't feel bad , for me or for Nikkolas! His CP has let us view things from different eyes that we would have never saw through had we not been blessed with Nikkolas. All my children are blessings, they truly are and none are perfect. I just know that we as a family have a true sense of humility because we were placed to be part of Nikkolas journey here on earth. I now realize that all my trials as a young woman were getting me ready for the person I am today. Every situation tailored to fit me. We have many more tough situations to come to but, now I seek Christ in everything I do and that is the total difference.
